The “I Appreciate” Intervention and How You Can Apply It

This is a simple intervention that the Gottman Institute has developed that I like and recommend to many of my couples clients. Take a few moments to think about your partner’s personality. Circle three to five aspects of your partner personality from the list below and then think of specific times when your partner exhibited them. Jot your ideas down. Then share it with your partner, starting with the phrase “I appreciate…”

For example: “I appreciate when you see someone who needs help and spend your time helping them. It is very generous, and I love your generous spirit.”

This is a good intervention to do with your partner or spouse because it is focused on positivity and helps refocus you on the things you love about your partner. Be sure to stay positive. Saying “I appreciated it when you used to be nice.” won’t do your relationship any favors!